I am a dynamic figure often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch break making them more efficient in the areas of heat retention. I translate ethic slurs for Cuban refugees. I write award winning operas I manage time efficiently. Occasionally I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing. I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed. I cook 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love and an outlaw in Peru. Using a hoe and a glass of water I single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon from a horde of ferocious ants. I play bluegrass cello. . I am subject of numerous documentaries I was scouted by the Mets I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I am a private citizen yet receive fan mail. I have been caller nine and have won the weekend passes. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. ren trust me. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and Davis Copperfield in one day. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. On the weekends to let off steam I participate in full contact origami. The laws of physic do not apply to me. I breed prize winning clams. I balance I weave, I dodge, I frolic and I have spoken to Elvis.

My Ideal Person Sense of humor and an insatiable libdo